Day 7: March 5, 2012

When I began this blog, I truly intended to post each and every day. Well, yesterday was day 6, and I failed to blog. When I finally got Samantha down to sleep at midnight, I thought to myself I should get out the computer and post something. To be honest, I just couldn't do it. I was physically and emotionally exhausted. Samantha had cried and nursed off and on through most of the day, and I was a nervous wreck about leaving her to go to work. I decided against writing because I knew if I thought too hard about leaving her behind that I would just dissolve into a blubbering puddle. I decided to get some sleep and not beat myself up. In hindsight, I am glad I did because though there were some tears this morning I managed to survive the day. I am afraid that posting last night would have given voice to all the little fears that have danced around the edges of my head over the past few weeks. Instead, I kissed her goodbye, headed out the door, turned around to get some pump parts I left at home, kissed her goodbye again, and had a wonderful day. Right now I am too tired to remember the day or to write a long diatribe, but she survived. I survived. We can do this. I just hope she will take more than one bottle tomorrow. I worked hard to get that milk together.