When I began this blog, I was intent on carving out some
time for me, time to reflect and wonder and worry and share. There are so many things I want to write, and
since I was a little girl I have found solace in pouring my thoughts out on
paper. Unfortunately, my time to write
seems to slip through my fingers each day.
I could list all of the excuses (how it is hard to work and take care of
kids and find me time, blah, blah, blah), but it would be a lie. To be honest, I am just plain tired at the
end of the day. I could get out the
computer and write, but by the time I have gotten the kids to bed I just want
to sit down, tune out, and watch a little TV.
Lazy, but necessary.
I envy those mothers who seem to keep it together and do
everything just right. I am not one of
those mothers, and I am working hard to be okay with that.
I have intentions of
homecooked, organic meals that entice Bryce to eat vegetables, but he mostly
eats Eggo blueberry waffles and “round” BabyBel cheese. He hates water and drinks huge amounts of orange
juice in the carton with the straw, and I can no longer dilute it with water because
he catches me and cries.
Even though I considered and seriously looked at using cloth
diapers, I came to the conclusion that I don’t do enough laundry to justify
it. I can barely keep up with the
laundry for myself and the children, and if Tony didn’t do his own and most of
the towels, I think we would be trapped under mountains of dirty clothes. It also helps that Mama takes pity on me and
comes over to do laundry too.
Sometimes Bryce watches too much T.V. I did get concerned about this when he asked
to watch “Swamp People,” but he did say he just wanted to see the alligators.
On days like today, I want to sit on the deck and drink beer
and read like I used to do before there were children.
I’m getting tired now, so I don’t think I will list anymore
of my shortcomings as a Mama and a wife, and I won’t even get started on
teaching. When I look back at this
pathetic little list, we are okay. I’m
not a perfect Mama, but I am the perfect Mama for my children.
I found the “Grumpy Troll” song for Bryce on YouTube
tonight, and we danced with Sam.
I made some pureed
peas for Samantha , and I hate peas. I
even tasted some of the little green balls of nasty to make sure they were
tender enough before I put them in the Baby Bullet. I did burn the first batch of peas because I
didn’t put enough water in the pot, and then I poured too much water in the
squash which resulted in squash juice.
But Samantha acted like the peas were the best thing ever, so it was
worth a few mishaps along the way.
We are all healthy and happy, and in the eyes of my kids, I
am their perfect Mama. Maybe this
weekend, I will have a beer and reflect on my blessings instead of listing my
shortcomings, and if I’m lucky I’ll get the house cleaned and grade writing and
make state file folder games and plant herbs and , if I’m really honest, I’ll
just get some sleep!
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