Day 2: February 29, 2012

Tonight I actually went shopping on my own. Mama and Daddy kept the kids, and I was excited to spend some time trying on clothes without kids underfoot. My plan was to get a few things to wear when I go back to work, and I found myself becoming depressed as I tried on clothes. I used to love shopping, but now I find it frustrating because I have put on a few pounds. I had gained weight before having children, and I have had a hard time losing it. I accept that I cannot wear the things I used to, and I also still have a little bit of a belly. I am also well aware that I need to watch my eating and work out more. I know all of these things. Unfortunately, while I was shopping and feeling depressed already, not one but two Belk employees asked me when my baby was due. I politely replied, "She is already three months old." Both appeared embarrassed and tried to change the subject. I simply continued shopping, but it took some of the excitement out of having some quiet time all alone. I was just the fat blob that still looked pregnant. Here is what I wish I had said instead:

Thank you for asking, but I had my baby three months ago. In the future, I would advise you not to ask people when they are due unless you in fact know they are pregnant. It is just rude. I am not pregnant. I have a three month old baby and a four year old son at home. I barely get any sleep, and I just don't have the energy to put together diet meals. I eat what I can find in the house. I nurse my daughter every three hours, and while people swear that nursing just melts off the baby weight, that has not been the case with me. I am constantly hungry. I have been trying to work out, but my back hurts since I have had the baby. I'm doing the best I can, and you asking me when my baby is due does not help. I am trying to find some clothes that make me feel good about myself while I continue to struggle to lose the weight I know I need to lose. I haven't left the house without a kid in days, and I was having a perfectly lovely time until you reminded me just how much weight I still have to lose. Did they not tell you in your training that telling people they look pregnant might make them not want to buy clothes. It is just rude. Grrrrr.....

And, yes, I would have growled at the end for effect. I know they didn't mean anything by it, and I am sure they were embarrassed. But is it seriously too much to ask that people think before speaking. I know I am sometimes guilty of this as well, and I hope I will remember this in the future. I do have every hope that eventually I will get on a schedule and eat a little healthier and exercise more. I need to do this for my family, but until I reach that goal please don't ask me if I am pregnant. I might growl.